The End

Dear Class,
Thanks for a great class this summer. I had so much fun reading your fiction and talking about fiction writing. You are a brilliant bunch of students, and I hope that you keep writing.

Stay cool in the Tucson heat.

Yours,
Rachel Y.

Hmmmm.

I making some last minute changes before everything is due. I hope it all works out. It's been a great class.

One Last Post

First of all, Happy fourth of July. I just finished everything for my portfolio. It feels good to be done. I will see most of you tomorrow at the Auld Dubliner. I've enjoyed the class and I think might writing got atleast a little bit better. I will remember the lust and the hand most of all.

reading

i don't know what to read. agh! the excerpt idea is difficult, because where to cut?

Working on my portfolios for both of my classes....trying to find something not psychotic to read for the talk-off on Thursday....Revising....

Oh, Rachel, I forgot to ask you: when we turn in the portfolio, can the short story be more than 20 pages?

I'm cleaning at work, cleaning my new apt, moving, and cleaning the old apt. I'm glad that I have this class. Without it, I might clean myself into oblivion.

endings

endings are HARD. i'm getting nowhere fast, coming up with lots of ideas that just feel too "eh." hopefully something that works will hit me in the face soon. i kind of toyed with the idea of including parts from Sammie's perspective, but feel like that would be such a major change- since the whole story is through Lizbeth's eyes only right now and that's part of the point- so it might take too long to do right and/or it might just trash the whole feel. also, i guess my character's motivation came out not quite how i wanted it to... jealousy maybe overshadowed some of the other stuff i wanted to be more important... (which is funny- my last story was about jealousy too... hmmm... let's not think about that too much!). i'll keep fiddling with this stuff and hope it all comes together, meanwhile i'm tired. see you all soon, hope you had a great weekend.

Nearing the finishing line

Hey all, thanks for the help with my story. I've been going through and fixing the tenses. Geez, I'm amazed you people were able to read it at all! I'm adding a bit of backstory sooner in the story to make Morgan and Edward's relationship make more sense, and be a bit stronger. I'm taking out some small sections, and trying to get rid of those horrid chiche's (but really, how else do you describe that fluttery feeling in the belly?)

I'd really like suggestions on a title if you guys have any ideas. I was never happy with what I chose. Help?

Revised Ending

Dear Everyone,

Well, thanks to your generous ripping apart of my story (*wink*), I have revised various parts throughout and changed the ending pretty drastically. The good news is, she still vomits at the end, and this time it's graphic. Hooray!

Love,

Jax

P.S. For the curious, here's how it ends:

She decided to really paint today. She packed her duffel full of paints and palettes and pencils, grabbed a canvas, and headed to the park. As she approached the spot where she had painted the day before, she remembered her encounter there with Jonathan Hall. She remembered how he had held her left hand, rubbing the beads on her O-mamori. Her stomach clinched, and her saliva began to thicken. She thought about how happy seven years of marriage had been. Her vision began to blur. As she got closer, she remembered how hurt Alex had looked, laying on the bed, pillow covering his crotch. She remembered Jonathan Hall’s cold hand on her breast, and her guts twisted painfully. Her mouth tasted bitter, and fat droplets began leaving wet trails down her cheeks. Finally, as she reached the spot where she and Hall had stood toe to toe, she recalled how it had felt to sleep alone last night in a wide, empty bed, without Alex by her side. With that last though, Marcia’s canvas and painting supplies toppled to the ground, the latter scattering across the grass. Marcia doubled over painfully, grabbing her knees for support, and emptied the bitter, acidic contents of her stomach onto the fading imprints of two size ten Rockports.

Nota Bene: In the revised park scene, Jonathan Hall is described as wearing Rockports.